


Character

by BloodyAbattoir



Series: Your Reality Is A Nightmare [30]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Mental Instability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24740599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyAbattoir/pseuds/BloodyAbattoir
Summary: The creation has surpassed the master.
Series: Your Reality Is A Nightmare [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/139122
Kudos: 2





	Character

Create a character. Write out a list of traits. Plot out each and every detail, from the large and overarching, their name or race, for example, to the minuscule, the way they take their coffee in the morning. By the time you are done, they will be a fleshed out thing, more depth than most social media influencers, almost as real as you and I. 

Write down their daily schedule, from the time they wake to the moment they fall asleep, the exact timing and way they take their morning tea and every second spent styling their hair. Jot down the way they dress, the careful matching of accessories to clothes to shoes and the length of their nails. Record their hopes and dreams and wishes and goals until you know them better than your own. 

Build them up from nothing, a plain sheet of paper and a blunt pencil. Breathe life into them, animate them until they walk and talk and sing and laugh and live and love and die. 

Realize they're better than you in every conceivable way. The creation has surpassed the master, and it stings you like salt and vinegar and rubbing alcohol in an open wound. You are miffed, pissed and ashamed. They have become better, more impressive, everything you always wanted to be, but never could. Now, you stand in the shadow of your own creation, a being that never truly was. 

You are ashamed at what you are, what you have become, what you could never be. For the longest time, you try to become this character. You change your sleep schedule, but you never quite wake on time. You wear the same clothing as them, and it never quite hangs right. No matter how much you diet, work out, even get cosmetic surgery, your body will never look as good as theirs. Your nails never grow properly, the right length, the right shape, and your hair doesn't shine quite right. You chase their hopes and dreams with more fervor than you ever chased your own, and still, you do not win. 

You will never be them. 

No matter how hard you try, no matter the extreme lengths that you go to, you can never be them, this character of your own making. You exhaust yourself, burn the candle at both ends, wear yourself down to nothing, and it still is all for naught. No matter how hard you try, you are doomed to live and die in the same way - mediocre. 

Finally, you make peace with this idea. You give up. 

It's never going to happen. Somehow, in trying to become this character, you've grown even further from them. You are disgusted, both at yourself and your creation. Your failure burns and claws at your heart, your mind, your very soul. There is no happy ending. 


End file.
